I see six ways that people tend to create their own obstacles when it comes to money:
Universal Negotiation. That’s what my client was doing—taking two completely separate issues in her life and connecting them. This would be like me saying, “I will give up all of the Cheese Nips in the world if I could save the tigers.” When we resort to creative bartering over the things that are important to us, it’s buying into the belief that you can’t have both. BUT YOU CAN.
Settling. When I talk to my clients, something I hear a lot is, “I want to make $100,000 in the next 12 months.” Which is totally doable. But then when we figure out how they are going to get there, people start to object: “I can’t possibly charge that much/get that many clients/do all of the things you mentioned…” and then they come up with another lower number. Don’t get me wrong…I have no problem helping a person figure out how they will make $25K or $50K or whatever they want; what I object to is SAYING you want something without committing to it. That’s settling, and you’ll never make $100,000 if $50,000 is acceptable.
Discomfort With Receiving. Some of us—women especially—get into the habit of making everyone around them comfortable before seeing to their own needs. And then don’t have energy left to take care of themselves. Money is energy. If you give all of your energy away without first seeing to your own needs, you’ll get the exact same results with your money. It will all get used up on other stuff before there is any left for you.
Discomfort With Having. Some people feel uncomfortable having money, so they spend it. This is somewhat normal for new business owners. They are excited to be profitable, and at first, they feel like they are spending money in order to reinvest in the business, so the spending is okay. But if you never have money left over, regardless of how much money you’re making, then you need to resolve this block (or start hiding money from yourself).
Comparison. Whenever you compare your situation to someone else, you’re going to be unhappy. What’s more, the comparison makes you feel less than, powerless, and messes with your self worth. Even if you compare yourself to someone and feel like you come out on top, there is still a defensiveness in the comparison (“look at me, look at me, I’m better than her!). Fundamentally, when you don’t feel worthy, it messes with your financial worth as well.
Listening To Others. I’ve heard it said that your income is an average of the top 5 people you spend the most time with—but I would refine that by saying the top 5 healthiest people you spend time with, because you could have a buddy making $500k annually but if he’s a total nut job, that isn’t going to elevate your mindset. And there are people who make well less than $100K annually who are so freaking zen, they make you better. You should be spending time with people who elevate you in some way.
How To Release These Blocks
The first step to releasing any money block is having clarity over what it is. Once you can verbalize your block and how it personally applies to you, it stops having as much power over you.
The next step is to get out of your head. This is where all of the worry happens. Whenever you catch yourself worrying, STOP and change your environment. Leave the room, take a few breaths, put on some music. As soon as you notice the dynamic, stop engaging.
The final step is to reframe. When you feel calm again, ask yourself: “What would be a word or phrase that better reflects the relationship I WANT to have with money in this situation?” Write it down and keep it in front of you for a few days, posted on your computer, on a mirror by your chair or where ever you’ll see it.
Only when you are calm and clear, should you move forward and take action. Whatever action you decide to take, try something that you might not have done before, which helps you reinforce to yourself that the specific money block you have been struggling with is no longer an issue. Intention is everything.
True, most people tend to work on money blocks for years, but with every step you take, they will become less and less of an obstacle for you. And the sooner you start, the sooner you can eliminate them.
